February was wonderful for couples as it was the month of love (Valentine’s Day) and all of its commercialism hit the world. Now that it is July, what is going to happen next? Shall you go back to your overwhelmed self and your stressful relationship simply because you don’t have a step-by-step guidance on how to manage it better?
Taking the inspiration from Gabrielle Bernstein (A Hip Guide to Happiness), let’s have a look at forgiveness. Carmen and Callum (not their real names) were burnt badly in their previous relationships. They had both been cheated on before and were unaware that this became a huge block in their subconscious mind moving forward. The compassion for each other attracted them to be together. They simply didn’t want to be hurt anymore. However it is made them not very open to each other on a deeper level and the relationship became stale past the 3 months honeymoon period after they first met.
After a few sessions Carmen decided to forgive her past partner of his behavior. She was able to let go of the old story. She stopped playing the victim. Callum slowly follow suit. He was faced with two options: One, continue to be angry and miserable, or two, forgive, let go and be happy.
When you choose to forgive, you release the person and choose a peaceful state of mind over your old chaotic way of thinking. The miracle happens when you change your mind.
To help you let go of your old chaotic way of thinking, shall we try this for 30 days:
STEP 1: RETHINKING
This process begins with choosing to find compassion for those you need to forgive. “What relationships or memories still cause me to feel acute pain or sadness?” “Who am I unwilling to forgive?”
On a daily basis for 30 days, state your forgiveness affirmation to the universe as soon as you wake up and before bed time. “I forgive you and I release you.” The fearful ego tells us that by holding onto the old resentments, we protect ourselves from falling (getting hurt again). The irony is the release is in the fall.
STEP 2: RETHINKING + MOVING
One of my mentors said that to fully heal or manifest something, we need to think it, embody it, and live it. To embody something, the easiest way is to feel it in our body with movement. Whether it’s exercise, dancing, singing, massaging, any activities that helps you experience a feeling of release.
Move for at least 10 minutes and repeat the affirmation “I forgive you and I release you.”
STEP 3: RECEIVING
Your actions and words may shift you to the more loving state, but if the energy behind it is still unforgiving (when you say in your mind, “But! He/she did this in the past. But! He/she still does this to me. But…” Shift your energy by meditation. Cut the cord of anger, resentment, frustration, pain and fear. The pain no longer serves you. Chop it, darling!
Now sit, close your eyes and focus on your breathing (slowly in and slowly out) and relax.
· See the person to forgive
· Breath in and say “I call on the willingness to forgive you”
· Breathe out and say “I release you”
· Deep breath in “I choose to forgive you”
· Breathe out “I release you” (repeat several times)
· Deep breath in and picture in your mind a black cord between you and the other person
· Cut the cord
· Breathe out, release and watch the cord fall to the ground.
· Inhale, breathe in white light and feel it showering you with healing so you become bright and emanate love.
· Breathe out, release any attachment.
· Say the “I release” “I forgive” mantra several times. To conclude the meditation healing, write the person a love letter. Let the stream of consciousness flow, don’t think just write. Finish the letter by identifying ways that this situation has affected your life positively (as by now you will be able to see a different view point). And say that you love them. All of the above is simply to set yourself free.
In the next week or so I will continue with another blog of THIRTY DAYS OF LETTING GO to help you create awareness about your relationship and to enhance it.
If you need more support, you can sign up for our Couple Powerhouse Package to celebrate your love. There are 3 sessions in 1 package. You will be taught how to massage each other for relaxation and intimacy, be given a Love Box that has things to create the romantic ambience (including the beautiful Partylite Candle) and to experience a few Couple’s Coaching sessions so you may learn how to let go of your ‘stuff’ and allow for the ‘magic’ to flow easily in your relationship.
SPECIAL OFFER: if you book this package (3 sessions) in July, pay only $500 instead of $700. What a great investment to enhance your intimacy!
To book your session, please call us on 9389 0890 (Health Space Clinic Bondi Junction).
Keep well & lots of love,
Spa Therapist & Relationship Coach